The Blended Tribe

CHANGES & LIFE EVENTS: BLENDED STYLE

 

 

We all know some of the significant stressors in life, you know, the events that cause some kind of stress on us either good or bad.
⋅Death
⋅Divorce
⋅Moving
⋅Loss of Job
⋅Marriage
⋅New Baby

So how would these events not have a significant impact on kids going through them? Right now in our house, we have all four kids dealing with huge life changes at the other parent’s house. How does this affect our kids and in turn us? It affects us by our kids having emotions, thoughts, feelings, attitudes that carry over to our house when they are with us.

Here is what I’m learning through the process….

1. As the parents, be a little more sensitive during this period with the kids. Once I was able to put two and two together, I was able to realize that the kids might need a little more love, attention, and understanding during this time. We’re not letting them get away with things, but we are trying to be a little more sensitive to their needs at this time.

2. Life goes on as usual in our house. We will be sensitive, but nothing changes in our household. We continue with our schedule, chores, and so on. Keep consistent with your normal activities and rules. Kids thrive on consistency and normalcy so keep that up when you have them.

3. Let the kids know you are available and will to talk about any feelings they might have about whats going on. Let them vent or let them express their feelings while not inputting yours. You are only a safe place for them to express what they are feeling and dealing with.

These are the few things I’ve noted so far going through this process with the kids. I will make sure to share if anything else comes up.
It’s all about learning in this crazy house, and it can be exhausting sometimes, but I think we will all turn out better for it.

 

 

♥ The Blended Tribe


 

Interesting Read: Huffington Post

Found this on the Huffington Post.  Older article, but the information is still relevant.  What do you think?  I know each situation is different.

Parents and Step-Parents: Where Is the Boundary Line?

Being a step-parent may very well be the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. Parenting is tough enough in and of itself, but at least with the children I birthed I know that I can make a major parenting mistake and they will laugh at me and forgive me for my shortcomings and then forget about it by the time they get home from school. It seems like no matter what we face, we begin each day with a clean slate.

It’s different with my step-children. I find myself worrying that I may at any moment make an irreversible mistake which could cause them to harbor resentment until my last breath is taken. I often dance around issues and walk on eggshells and probably coddle them more than is even necessary.

But the most challenging part about being a step-parent is not crossing the imaginary “boundary line” to which so many parents and step-parents refer. We are expected to love the children like our own… but not too much. We are expected to make decisions regarding our home… but not specifically regarding the step-kids. We are supposed to be interested in their lives… but not too interested in what they do at the other home. We are supposed to go to their sports activities and cheer them on… but not offer to assist with the activities. We are expected to treat them like our own… but not really.

Continue reading here

 


 

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