Tis the season to be jolly right?!? Not for all families! The Holiday’s can be extremely tough on blended families.
Here are some tips to get you through the Holidays:
1) Plan ahead. You know when you do and don’t have your kids. Make sure that you plan the month out and be organized and prepared.
2) Be flexible. Although you need to plan out your month according to your parenting agreement, some things just aren’t going to be at your scheduled time with the kids; this goes both ways. Try to be as flexible as possible with the kid’s other parents without messing up your schedule. Everyone has important activities that they want to do during the Holidays so keep an open mind to that.
3) Have a good attitude. Stay positive and don’t let drama get you down or ruin your mood. Focus on your family and the true meaning of Christmas.
4) Make new traditions. It’s fun to make new traditions that your blended family will come to know and appreciate. Get creative and even if some of the kids “act” like they aren’t into it, they will probably be the first ones asking to do it the next year. At least that’s what usually happens around here. Along with making new traditions make sure you respect any existing traditions that are important to the kids or your spouse.
5) Be sensitive. Realize that the kids have a lot of non-stop activity going on during this time of year. Parent’s trying to cram traditions and activities in half the time with their kids. The kids might be a little worn down and overstimulated. Try to have extra patience and understanding during this time.
Fishing for information out of your kids about the other parent or what happened at the other parent’s house while they were with them is a big NO-NO! It makes things uncomfortable for the kids, and honestly, it does YOU no good. I”m not saying I haven’t learned this the hard way but I did figure out very early on that I don’t need to know EVERYTHING that happens when my kids aren’t with me. It’s something that I had to come to terms with and as a mother, that’s not easy, but I now know that I’m better off for it. All of our kids know that they can come and talk to us about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. We are always here for them, and we will be as honest and straightforward with them as much as allowed.
A long time back, I decided that I don’t want or need to know and let me tell you, it felt so good. I know people that will social media stalk and hound their kids for any information about the other parent. If you are one of these people…..STOP right now!! Naturally, you want to make sure your children are safe and being well-cared. Keep an open and well-communicated relationship with your children and trust me, they will tell you when things aren’t right all on their own. When they do tell you things, you then have to come up with a neutral response or try to listen without forcing your opinions in on the matter. Also, please never show emails or texts between you and your ex to your children. There’s no need to put kids in the middle of grown-up situations. Their not ready to be dealing with these things and kids these days already have so much drama on their plates, they don’t need their parents/step-parents adding to that.
Things have been crazy around my house. My hubby went in for knee surgery a couple of days ago, and all went well with that. He had his meniscus repaired.
I get the kids home from school that day to discover my daughter has LICE!!! FREAK OUT MOM MOMENT!! First lice experience. I never had it growing up, and none of the kids had gotten it until now. Here’s a photo of what I pulled out of my daughter’s hair. I about died. I talk to about seven different people right away to get advice on what to do. I get about seven different answers. Go to the drugstore and try Nix first. Even though I heard mixed opinions on the Nix, it killed the lice. The next morning she still had a ton nits in her hair that I had to pick out one by one. The next day we soaked her hair in apple cider vinegar and picked out more nits. I found that the ACV did help loosen up the nits and made it a little easier to get them out. That night, I used a mixture of coconut oil with tea tree oil and had her sleep with that on all night. This morning, I had her wash her hair, and when I sat to pick out the nits, I found that she had a lot fewer nits to pick out this morning. On top of nitpicking and cutting a couple of inches off her hair, I’ve had to wash all the bedding, and blankets, curtains, rugs, EVERYTHING in our house. I’ve bagged all stuff animals and hats. Getting rid of these nasty things have not been fun, and we’re not over it yet. Our Pediatrician has called in a prescription to try as well, and we are waiting for it to get here. Hoping to try that out tonight. I’ll update with what ended up working the best for her. I’m thinking the coconut oil, and tea tree oil is the winner so far.
How to deal with lice in a blended family. You have to make sure you tell all parents about what’s going on. If some of your kids aren’t with you, see if they can stay at the other parents’ house or try to keep the kids and treat them until all lice are gone. We were very blessed in the fact that my stepkids mom was able to keep them for us while we’ve been dealing with this mess. This entire situation is not fun but preventing it from spreading and nipping it in the butt as quickly as possible is essential.
We’re on the mend.
I’m exhausted and ready for a vacation……a mom can dream right?!
The quicker you can let yourself get to the point of letting go, the better off you’ll be. It took me a bit and my biggest problem was thinking that by forgiving it meant that I was condoning or that I had given in. Nope, not true! It’s the most freeing thing in this world.
It was a busy weekend. Filled with a jr. higher’s first dance, flag football party, first swim meet, pumpkin painting, family game night, making caramel apples, church and baseball. The sad thing is that it was a pretty relaxing and mellow weekend for us. Mom had to give up a couple of fun events that I really would’ve liked to have done, but getting to keep up our family traditions was way worth it.
I bought this book the other day and have really been enjoying it. You can go on the website they provide and do a couple’s checkup. You and your spouse take a quiz and then compare it and see where your weakness’ and strengths are…..it’s been pretty eye-opening so far. I bought mine at our local bookstore, but I’m sure you can snag this up on Amazon. Check it out.