The Blended Tribe

Happy Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary babe. Two years down!! I know that’s not a long time, but it feels like a lifetime already. We’ve been through so much in the last few years together. We leaned on one another through the hardest time of our lives, and we made it through and ended up together. Now, as we have the challenging task of raising a blended family together, we seem to pull through and become stronger each day. I know there are so many challenges ahead of us, but I believe in us.

I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone else. I love you and here’s to us!  ♥


 

BE GRATEFUL FOR THE CHALLENGE

Challenge

I listened to a great message yesterday. It hit me hard especially after having a very revealing week. We went to our counseling session on Tuesday, and it was a doozy for me. The counselor finally asked me a little about my past marriage, and after explaining it to her, it ended in her telling me some fascinating things about my previous relationship and what I’m suffering with now as a result of it. I’ll share more about this in another post. It hit me pretty hard though, and I’ve kept quiet for a little bit after finding out the information that I did.  Just need some time to reflect and wrap my head around it all.

Fast forward to church yesterday…….we had a guest speaker. He started talking about how the things that are crippling in our lives are in fact the things that we need to be most thankful about. He was basically saying that the people in our lives that have wronged us are the people that we are learning the most from. The most challenging people that we deal with are the people that are helping us grow and learn. My husband and I had to laugh out loud in church because right away we both know who challenges me the most right now and to start looking at this person as a blessing from God, isn’t the most natural thing to do right at the moment, I’m going to try though.

So, thinking about your past, you can probably quickly think about the people in your life that have wronged you, hurt you, challenged you. Instead of wishing you never would’ve come into contact with that person, be grateful that you did. For through that person you were taught something or are being taught something. It’s a complete shift in thinking. I challenge you to try it and see what happens in your life!

♥ The Blended Tribe


 

DON’T GET PLAYED BY YOUR KIDS!

When your step kid talks crap about the weekend with his other parent, we tell him to stop talking badly about his other parent, and he says “it’s ok because he does the same thing about us when he’s not with us.”
What’s the problem here?!?! We’ve known all along about the crap talking, but hearing him admit it is nice I guess.
DON’T GET PLAYED BY YOUR KIDS!! If they are talking crap to you about the other parent, chances are they are talking crap about you too. Kids are going to try to use any angle they can get. The best way to deal with this situation is to stop them! They have no business being disrespectful to the other parent. You need to let them know you’re not going to tolerate it. We try to turn whatever they are saying into a positive thing. That way we are letting them vent still, but trying to make the child see the positive in what the other parent was trying to do. Or you just stop them and tell them they have no business being disrespectful to another adult, especially their parent. You choose!! Whatever you do, don’t play into it and don’t get played by your kids!

L♥ve Is Intentional

I’ve been so sick ya’ll!! I finally caught the nasty cold going around in our area.

We dropped off my kids on Saturday afternoon with their dad and had two kid-free nights, so Sunday was supposed to be our Valentine’s day. Neither one of us is big fans of Valentine’s Day. I feel like you should be showing your partner love all through the year, not just on one day. We don’t get crazy about celebrating it, but we have made the tradition of splurging on a ridiculously expensive dinner together each year for the occasion. Jon was so sweet and remembered to call and make reservations at our favorite spot. The day came, and I had him cancel. I couldn’t waste a fantastic meal that I can’t even taste, plus the thought of getting dressed up and having to look good sounded even worse. IMPROVISE….a nice dinner at home. I didn’t have to get dressed up, and I married a man that loves to cook and is pretty damn good at it!
I guess the point of this post is to prove the fact that it doesn’t matter where you are as long as you’re there with the right person, and honestly, this isn’t any different than any other night we have alone. I feel like it’s the intention behind things. We intended to spend some quality time together, and that’s what we did. You don’t have to make Valentine’s Day a ridiculous blown out event. Be intentional, show the people in your life you love them by spending time with them.  Don’t get caught up on one day, you should be loving your spouse intentionally 365 days.

♥ The Blended Tribe


 

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY DIVORCE


 

 

 

Going through my divorce was a life-changing experience for me. I feel like I learned so much from it and took so much away from the entire experience. It makes you take a good hard look at yourself. It makes you figure out or guess what and where you went wrong. Here are a few key things that got me through my divorce. I’ve lived through deployments, deaths, illness, but my divorce was by far the hardest thing that I had ever gone through until that point in my life.

These are the things that I took away from going through my divorce:

♦ Don’t blame yourself entirely. It’s not all your fault. Even if you were cheated on, usually you had some contribution to what ended your marriage. Don’t take on all the blame, but be sure to take some of the blame. It takes two to make a marriage work.

♦ Don’t make any crazy life decisions while you’re going through this time. You’re going through some hard stuff, and that’s never a good time to figure out life

♦ Don’t say you’re never going to get married again or be in another relationship!! In fact, don’t ever say you’re NEVER going to do anything, that always seems to bite me in the butt when I use the word never…..seriously ever time.

♦Rely on your family and friends. Relying on other people can be extremely hard for some people. Your friends and family want to help though. Let them help if they can.

♦Don’t rely on alcohol or drugs to get you through. If you start drinking to numb the pain, you’re going to create more problems for yourself. I’m not saying not to have a drink ever because that’s just crazy talk, but don’t let it become a problem.

♦Write things down and journal your experience, what’s happened and how you feel about it. Write it all down!! I haven’t gone back and read through everything yet, but I have skimmed through some of it, and it’s pretty cool to see how far I’ve come and to remember some of the stuff I’ve experienced.

♦ If you have kids, do everything you can to protect your kids and do what’s best for them, even if it’s not the best thing for you. The kids come first.

♦BREATH!! People are going to tell you that you’re going to get through this and it won’t always feel this way, and you probably won’t believe them. I know I didn’t believe any of them, but you won’t always feel this way. Things will get better. You might be surprised at how much better things can get. Breath, you’re going to get through this! It’s going to feel like the slowest process ever, but you’re going to make it through!

→→If you want to hear about my story and how I got here, send me an email at brilee4@gmail.com or fill out the contact info below ⇓ and I’ll send it to you. Everybody has a story. I find it extremely helpful to hear what other people have gone through; hearing others stories can be very encouraging and helpful.


Blended & Blessed 2018

→This is such a cool event!!  You can host a small group or order it for your personal viewing.  This event is live-streamed.  Check with your church to see if they are hosting this event.  

Blended and blessed event


2018 Blended & Blessed Livestream: Keys to Stepfamily Success

· Hosted by FamilyLife Blended
The link below will take you to the registration page to find out more information ↓

Details:

Blended& Blessed® is a one-day live event and livestream for stepfamily couples, single parents, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families.

Join thousands of sites around the globe as we unpack key successes that are crucial to healthy stepfamily marriages. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended &
Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you. Over 13,000 people from 22 countries experienced the 2017 event, and we’re coming back with new speakers and more crucial help for 2018.

You can sign up today to host the Blended & Blessed livestream in your church or your community or find a location near you to attend. You can even host an event in your home with your small group or friends, bringing together couples for one incredible day of teaching, music, and humor!
Special guests include:


Ron Deal
Dr. Rick Rigsby
Michele Cushatt
Bill Butterworth
Steve & Misty Arterburn
Andy & Heather Hetchler

If you are part of a stepfamily, or know someone who is, this is a can’t-miss opportunity!
Get more information: http://bit.ly/2FIR8sR


The Reasons Why We See a Marriage Counselor

Do we see a Marriage Counselor? Hell YES, we do!
Why? Well, Why not?!?

Marriage counselor

We started seeing one because we felt it would be beneficial for us to have a non-bias person mediating some of our concerns especially when it comes to the kiddos. We got a referral from somebody we trust and low and behold; she’s a step-mama too!! There are so many positive reasons to go to counseling with your spouse. It will improve relationship satisfaction, and you gain a better understanding of how your spouse feels, it promotes positive ways to resolve conflict, and much more.
With this being both of our second marriage, we have a lot going against us statistically. Neither of us wants to be another statistic when it comes to our marriage and our family. We’re doing everything possible to avoid it from happening again. Hopefully, our determination and love will prevent that from happening a second time, but God only knows that people can drastically change and you have no control over another person thoughts or feelings.
We’re going as a preventative, and so far I think we both are amazed at how much we’ve benefited from it. It’s important to find the right counselor for you and your spouse, so keep looking until you find the right fit. Be selective about who you take advice from; you’re not going to receive marriage advice from somebody who’s been divorced a couple of times and not married, right?!?  Be selective.
If you need a recommendation for counselors in the Five Cities, then hit me up @ brilee4@gmail.com.              ♥ The Blended Tribe

 


 

I ♥ My Tribe

Love my tribe

My life didn’t turn out at all how I expected it, and for that, I am so grateful. I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone else. It’s not always easy, but I love my tribe ♥

 


 

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